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Hyperbole Examples

Page history last edited by PBworks 13 years, 11 months ago

My teacher is so old…

 " they've already nailed the coffin shut".

 "she gets a seniors discount at the nursing home!"

 "her wrinkles weigh more than she does!"

 "she showed us a yearbook from 1500 B.C.!"

 "she considers Shakespeare to be 'new-fangled modern art'!"

 "she personally knew Shakespeare!"

 "she remembers the tragedy when the dinosaurs died!"

 "she has wrinkles on her palms."

 "she's mentioned in the Old Testament."

 "she can't even remember her own name!"

 "she taught cave men to start a fire."

 "she edited the bible for mistakes!”

 "she claims that she invented the question mark!"

 "we looked up the word 'ancient', and there was full definition with her name and a big picture of her smiling..."

 "she knows how to speak cave-man language!"

 

 

My dog is so ugly…

 "We had to pay the fleas to live on him!"

 "he has to sneak up on his dish to eat".

 "we have to pay people to pet it"

 "I have to tie a $100 bill on it so people will pet it!"

 "the fire hydrants disguise themselves!"

 "you can't tell if she's coming or going"

 "he saw himself in a mirror and ran away!"

 "you could shave its butt and it would look like it was walking backwards”

 "you have to put a bag over him to pet him!"

 "fleas won't even live on him!"

 "I have to tie a pork chop around his neck to get other dogs to play with him!”

 "his leash high-tails it when I try to take him for a walk."

 " we have to wait 'till midnight to take him on walks."

 "he only has cat friends!" Justin, from Dexter, Missouri Grand Prize Winner

 

 

My sister uses so much makeup…

 "she broke a chisel trying to get it off last night!"

 "she bought out Mary Kay just to have enough makeup for one day!"

 "Marilyn Manson freaked out when he saw her!"

 "when she takes it off, my mom doesn't recognize her."

 "she has to use a sandblaster to get it off at night."

 "that I haven't seen her real face for years ..."

 "when she smiles her cheeks fall off."

 "when she smiles, cracks the size of the Grand Canyon form in the surface."

 "by the time she gets it all on, it's time to take it off!"

 "she weighs 50 pounds more when she's done!"

 "at night she has to get the paint scraper to take it off."

 "when she takes it off she loses 30 pounds!"

 "she could pass as a clown at the circus."

 "the artist formerly known as Prince gets ideas from her."

 "you could scrape off just the outer layer and put it on five other girls."

 "she looks like my grandmother!"

 

 

The town I grew up is so isolated…

 "it makes ghost towns look popular"

 "our theatre is still waiting to get Charlie Chaplin movies..."

 " I don't even know where it is!"

 "the only friend I had was a duck."

 "I was the only one there."

 "we just recently got news of this 'new fangled' technology called VCRs."

 "We had to drive to the city for gossip"

 "we lived in huts because it cost too much to get houses out there."

 "'paper, scissors, rock' is considered a high-tech game!"

 "if someone left they wouldn't be able to find their way back."

 "it takes three days just to get to the grocery store!"

 "that even the cows don't bother to moo!"

 "even insects won't live there."

 

 

My aunt is so fat…

 

 "when she lies down she's as tall as she is standing up"

 "you have to take 2 trains and a bus to get on her good side."

 "when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house!"

 "every time she turns around it's her birthday."

 "that elephants throw peanuts at her"

 "that she can't even sit in a cable car or the lines will snap"

 "her belly button has an echo"

 "her blood type is 'Rocky Road'"

 "when she steps into an elevator, it only goes down."

 "when she walks by the TV, I miss 3 shows!"

 "she has to iron her pants in the driveway!"

 "you can sit a tea cup on her stomach and it won't fall off!!"

 "when she walks, other people start yelling 'earthquake'

 " I could slap her thigh and ride the wave!"

 "She has more layers than the earth's surface!"

 

 

Other hyperbole:

 "Your sister's so skinny, she has to run around in the shower to get wet"

 "Your sister is so dumb, she walked by the YMCA and thought they spelled MACY'S wrong"

 "My history teacher's so old, he lived through everything we've learned about ancient Greece"

 "I think of you a million times a day”

 "The test was so hard, by the time I finished it I was 100 years old!"

 "Saskatchewan is so flat, you can see your dog run away for 4 days!"

 "Your momma is so dumb, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death!"

 "Your momma is so dumb, she thought TACO BELL was a Mexican phone company."

 "It was so cold, even the polar bears were wearing jackets."

 "Our library is so old, its book pages are numbered with roman numerals ... written by the Romans!"

 "My girlfriend is so popular, she has her own 900 number."

 "That boy's eyes are so big, they look like they're going to jump out and grab you!

 "My best friend is so forgetful, I sometimes have to remind her what her name is!"

 "The Eiffel Tower is so big, when I looked up I nearly got whiplashed!"

 

 

Louder Than a Clap of Thunder

Louder than a clap of thunder,

louder than an eagle screams,

louder than a dragon blunders,

or a dozen football teams,

louder than a four alarmer,

or a rushing waterfall,

louder than a knight in armor

jumping from a ten-foot wall.

Louder than an earthquake rumbles,

louder than a tidal wave,

louder than an ogre grumbles

as he stumbles through his cave,

louder than stampeding cattle,

louder than a cannon roars,

louder than a giant's rattle,

that's how loud my father SNORES!

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